I am not forgotten.... neither are you.

As the snow is melting and we are gaining daylight, my desire for spring is becoming more prevalent. I feel more lax about getting the kids to bed on time, having them do their homework, getting them to complete their chores. I just want to play and enjoy the sunshine. The sun is definitely something we Alaskans really appreciate. I love how the sky is so blue and the clouds are light whisps of white, floating in the sky. I love seeing the tips of the trees turning red, the snow melting and grass peaking through. Soon the grass will be turning green and flowers will be poking up. We will plant our gardens, plan our fishing and camping trips, stay out way past our adult bedtimes.

On the home front, my family and I will be pulling tree stumps, prepping our land to drill the well, put in the sewer and prep for a concrete pad for the foundation. Our home will start becoming a reality. It has been a long time coming. As a young girl I played house. I dreamed of having a husband, kids and a house that was full of memories. I had a best friend in high school who schemed and dreamed with me about living next to each other and raising our kids together. Unfortunately life circumstances thwarted our plan. But we both are blessed with amazing husbands and kids and keep up with each other through Facebook.

I dreamed of marrying my prince on a white horse.  He would whisk me off to a beautiful castle and we would have a brood of little towheads running around. I did get my prince. He whisked me away in a U-haul and we have been going ever since. He has blessed me with two towheads and two brunettes. We have lived in 6 different states, 8 different cities/towns and 9 different houses/apartments. (And no, he is not in the military) We have dreamed and planned for 15 years. Plans have been drawn, budgets have been figured out and lots of talking has been done. But God held things back for a long while.

I still hold my breathe sometimes, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am not being pessimistic. I believe God for the impossible. He has done some amazing and incredible things in my life. I hold on to those things and am encouraged. I am determined to look forward and continue to hold out hope for the future. It's not easy..... There are days when I have had enough of being a "single mom" and I am so very ready for my husband to come home. I want to hang up the towel, find a place to rent and be together as a family. I get tired of shouldering the responsibilities of running my kids to practices, youth group, packing their lunches, doing their laundry, making dinner. I fall in to bed at night weary; physically, emotionally and mentally. I am referee, nurse, counselor, chef, laundress, teacher, mediator, and the list goes on.

I continuously pray for strength, wisdom, joy and grace. God is my Rock, my Fortress, my Best Friend. I lean on Him for what I need day by day. I take each day at a time, plow through my responsibilities and crash in the evenings, thankful for another day. Sometimes I let it all go and cry, allowing my Father to hold my hand and kiss my brow. His word is a lifeline that I cling to.

I share all this to say, in the end I know it will be worth it. I know that my dreams will be realized, not just with our home, but in our ministry, with our music, for my kids. Sometimes we carry our dreams around for a long time. I have, I am. The enemy has tried continuously to steal the dreams away. I have been knocked down. But with God's grace, I have gotten back up and stood. At times, that is all I could do. But than I found the strength to take a step and than another and another. As I did this, I felt God's strength to continue on.

Sometimes all we can do is stand. But than He gives us the strength to take that first step, than another and another. I encourage you today to stand. Find a scripture that speaks to your heart. Allow God to minister to your soul through His word. Than take that first step. Believe God is going to heal your body. Believe your son will be delivered and live for the Lord. Believe your daughter will walk away from that abusive relationship. Believe for your husband's salvation, your parent's healing, your child's deliverance. Believe God will provide for that business you want to start. Believe God will open the doors for you to continue your education.  Believe that desire deep down inside, that dream that you have had since childhood will be realized. God hasn't given up, nor has He forgotten. He doesn't want you to either.