God so loved the world, that He gave.... Merry Christmas!

"For a child has been born - for us! the gift of a son - for us! He'll take over the running of the world. His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness." Isaiah 9:6 MSG

This has always been one of my favorite "Christmas" verses. I love the hope it gives. I have needed hope lately. This Christmas has been a struggle in some ways, yet a wonderful blessing in others. Funny how an experience in your life can be both a blessing and a struggle. But I guess that is one of life's many mysteries. I realize that hope is one of the best gifts God has given us in His son. It says in Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." The Message Bible says, "Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around. " (Prov. 13:12) I have lived that out. I have had my heart broken over something and felt so hopeless in a situation and than something will glimmer in the darkness. God will move in a small way and I will see hope.

We all need hope. Only Jesus can bring us the hope we need.

I am so thankful that He came to give me hope. He was born in a stable, the lowliest of births. He was born among farm animals, in a place that wasn't sterile or safe and it probably smelled. His earthly dad was a carpenter and his mom, a young woman that God chose to bring Life into the world. His background isn't glamorous or grand. His parents were simple, regular people that believed in miracles. His siblings didn't really understand their older brother, might have even thought he was weird. He learned his earthy father's trade while studying the ways of His heavenly father. He knew Who He was and why He came. He knew His purpose. And when the time was right, He stepped into the fulfillment of His calling.

~He became our Amazing Counselor. He came to be our advisor, to lead us and guide us in this life we live. He came to give us wisdom needed, to navigate through the hardships, the struggles, the confusion. He came to live out His Word so that we can follow in His footsteps.

~He became our Strong God. He became our Rock, our Fortress, our Strength. He came to fight our battles for us and to give us victory. He came to be our testimony. We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. He came to be our Mighty Warrior.

~He came to be our Eternal Father. He is the One who was, who is and who is to come. He is the beginning and the end. The Alpha and the Omega. He knows our end before our beginning. He spoke and the world came to be.

~He came to be our Prince of Wholeness. (I love this one!) In Him, we are whole! He came to complete us. He is not broken or damaged or impaired in any way. When we come to Him with our brokenness, damaged soul and impaired mind He makes us complete. He takes all the "stuff" and makes it perfect.

As you celebrate this blessed holy day with your family, remember that there is so much more to the story than His birth. He came to bring us life eternal. He came so that we could live an abundant life. He came so we could share with others what He has done for us. He came to give us victory, hope, peace, joy!

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son....." John 3:16 MSG

Merry Christmas!

Thanksgiving 101

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love it for several reasons. The first reason being it is a day focused on giving thanks to the One who gave us so much. Another reason I enjoy this day is the opportunity to get together with family and friends. And than of course the menu is usually pretty amazing.

For the past several years, I have put out a basket on our dinning room table called the blessing basket. I strongly encourage my family to write down things they are thankful for each day. I have them do this through the month of November till Thanksgiving. At our family Thanksgiving dinner we read them out loud. I love this tradition and feel it gets my kids to thinking about things they are truly thankful for. I wanted to share some things that were written down in our blessing basket.

Music, my mom, my D.S., oxygen, food, our dog, turkey, my family and food, for my drawing skills and my life, ( I love that one!). Some others were; the world, pie, my brothers, games, people, my house, my friends.

I love my the simple, everyday things my kids wrote down. There are so many things we take for granted. It is different for us all. I think a big thing we all take for granted is the freedom we have in this country. It is a great place to live. As Christians we may take for granted the churches we attend or ministries we receive from. We may take for granted the car we drive, house we live in, our spouse, our job. We may take for granted out kids, our parents, our friends. We may take for granted that we have food in our cupboards and refrigerators, that we have clean running water to drink. We may take for granted the clothes we wear, the furniture we have, the appliances we use daily that make our lives so much easier.

I could get on a soap box and preach a message about being content in all things, but honestly; I'm not totally there yet. I do know what it's like to have much and have pretty much nothing. I have owned a new car, had a beautiful home, had money in the bank and very nice things. Yet I have also had to sit on the floor cause we didn't have chairs and slept on the floor since we didn't have a bed. I have driven a "classic" car, a truck that had a huge dent in the door and a van that had no heater ( in Alaska, mind you.) So I have lived at total opposites of the spectrum. I have been blessed to give above and beyond, as well as been blessed because someone gave to me. It's not easy when you go through a hardship and struggle financially. But I have to say, my God has been faithful and He has provided in ways I thought were impossible.

My husband reminded me tonight that we have walked through these hardships because of where we are going. Does that excite me? Well, it kind of does. I know God has great things for our ministry. We have seen and experienced some of it, are experiencing some now. But yet I know there is so much more God has in store. It will require a mentality that not many people have or want. I didn't ask to go through things we have walked through. But in a way, maybe I did.....

When I rededicated my life to the Lord, I knew there was no turning back and my life would never be the same. When I went to Bible College I knew I would not live a "normal" Christian life. When I married my husband, I knew God had called us to some great things.

Today I took some time to write my own Thanksgiving prayer to my Lord. I thought over this past year and the things we have walked through as a family; unemployment, medical issues, stepping down from ministry, changing churches, having our vehicle taken away, a major move, living in a hotel for a month, kids starting new schools, meeting new people and connecting in a new community. There have been ups and downs. But God has seen us through each one. I read something the other day that hit home for me; the author was talking about the realization of needing others in his life to help him through and how God places people in our lives to help us through. He said "even God needs the help of two mountains to make a valley." Yes, God needs us and we so desperately need Him. I have been angry at Him, I have blamed Him, I have tried to figure Him out. In the midst of all that, I know I can't live without Him, nor do I want to try.

My dear friend, I hope you realize your need in this life for others. I hope you realize that family is a good thing. That God places people in our lives to help us, encourage us, strengthen us and grow us up. I hope you realize that He has a plan and a purpose for ALL things. I hope today, you were able to look back over this year in your life and see His mercy, His grace, His love that is unending and overflowing. I hope you realize that God needs you, just as much as you need Him. Happy Thanksgiving!

Enjoying the busyness of life.

Sometimes it is so easy for me to sit down and write in my blog. Other times.... not so much. Today is one of those days where I have started something only to delete it. I have done this about five times, I think. My mind is full of things to write about, but it is hard to focus and get out one specific topic. So, I will share about my life over the past month.

October was a busy month for us. Actually our life is always busy, so I will rephrase that; it was busier than usual. In the midst of Life groups, hip hop classes, music rehearsals and church services; we also had a community project, family visiting, fall break for the kids, dinners with friends and my husband working overtime. Whew! Makes me tired just writing it! We have been busy, but have made some fun memories in the process.

My in laws came to visit us first. They came down from Alaska and stayed a week. It was fun spending time with them, catching up and enjoying each other's company. They were able to enjoy the grandkids, the sun and some good mexican food. They also helped out with some things around the house as well as a church project we had going on. I love how they step right in and help where ever needed. So thankful for them and their love for me as their daughter (in law).

Our church took a Saturday in October and reached out to our community. We took a street in the city and picked up trash. We had a great turnout. I was so blessed and proud of all involved that took a Saturday morning to help out. It is something small, but is the beginning of some great things we can do for this community. That same evening, our two oldest had a youth event involving both church campuses, lots of food, fun games, a rap group and an NFL player. It was a fun night and a great turnout. Those teens were blessed and encouraged.

My mom than came to visit for a week. It was too short of a visit. I enjoyed every moment and I am so thankful for the time we had together. We took walks in the morning, enjoyed our daily cup of coffee, spent one on one time with my kids and had some good conversations. When she left, I cried. Goes to show, you are never too old to need your mom.

So now, we are in a new month. My calender is filling up with appointments, dinners, projects, etc. We are getting into the holiday season. I will miss being with extended family but will do my best to give my children some sweet memories of their own. I look forward to the days ahead and the holidays we will enjoy. I want to enjoy the season and not get caught up in the hype. I know we will be busy, but will treasure the time with my kids and my husband as we pause to catch our breathe.

I know we all have lots going on. We have jobs to do, projects to get done, laundry to wash, dinners to cook. It really is a never ending process in this life we live. But I hope you will join me in times of rest. I hope you will see God's goodness and love in the little things. I hope that life doesn't get you so bogged down that you collapse in exhaustion at the end of the day wondering; "Where has the time gone?" I hope you will make all the effort needed to fellowship with fellow believers each Sunday. I hope you will take some time to pray, read some scripture, wait before the Lord. Let Him rejuvenate your spirit. I hope you will lift your hands each day in thanks to the One who gave it all. It's really the least we can do to honor Him. The one who gave you this life you live. And if you are feeling down, just know God will pick you up. He will give you joy, peace, strength.

Go out today and live your life thanking Him for each moment. No matter how busy you are....

It's a new season

I love this time of year. The smell of leaves, the cool crisp air, the vibrant color of the leaves, pulling out sweaters and soup recipes. This year though, fall is a little different for me. Since we are in a warmer climate and have no trees with changing leaves, cool crisp air or even the desire to eat soup or wear a sweater; I am having to rethink fall.

I can tell that the temperature is dropping a bit, the mornings and evenings are cool. The bushes and flowers all seem to be peeking out their vibrant colors of purple, pink, white, orange, yellow. The grass is greening up and the sunsets are getting earlier in the evening. I have pulled out a hoodie here and there, but haven't kept it on for long. So fall is here, but in a different way than what I am used to.

I feel the same with this season of my life. I am not too sure what God is doing in me, through me, with me. I feel a renewed faith in Him and ability to believe Him for more than I have in a long time. I feel His word IS true and He IS faithful. I am so thankful and find it refreshing.

Not too long ago I was doubting that my God was who I believed Him to be. I wondered if He really did follow through. I felt forgotten, abandoned and left behind. But God in His mercy and love has shown me otherwise.

I am realizing that this season in my life is different for so many reasons. My kids are ALL in school. So my time is more free. I am filling it with bible study, prayer, exercise and of course laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc. I am also working on renewing my mind and filling it with faith, thankfulness and God's word. I am having to build up my faith bit by bit. The relationships in my life are different as well. Having moved to a new place, I am once again building friendships. My husband and I are reworking our relationship as our kids are older. They are not so small any more and their dependance on us is different. So we are shifting and changing our way of dealing with them and with each other. Our marriage is in its "teen" years. We are in the busiest time of our lives, so finding time for each other can be tricky. But we do it as often as we can.

I also realize in this season that God is having to remove some "stuff" in me to make room for more of Him. He is changing my mindset on so many levels. It is a good thing, even in the midst of the uncertainty and insecurities. I know God will see me through and He will guide me through the changes.

I am also stepping back and sifting through some things. I realize that God will not always give me an answer for certain situations I have walked through in the past. I may not see the effects of decisions made that we thought were the best. I may not see the lives touched or changed by my reaching out, but I have to trust God in His response to my obedience. I may not understand why I had to walk through pain and loss to get to where I am this very moment, but God has gotten me this far. I am standing, I am singing, I am believing and I am praising. I am still going to dream, hope, desire. I have yet to accomplish all of my dreams but I know God has placed them in me for a reason.

This season of my life holds many things. It holds new beginnings and endings. It holds healing and restoration, forgiveness and release. It holds reshaped plans, visions, dreams and goals that will be accomplished. It holds growth, maturity, strength and renewed hopes. This season will be one of seeing some desires realized that I have had for a long time.

I don't want to take this season lightly in any way. It is preparing me for so much more than I can even imagine.

That is what our seasons do, if we let them. They prepare us for our future. No matter what season you are in, I believe God is getting ready to do some awesome and mighty things in your life. I believe He wants us to have a season of abundance, joy, peace, provision, healing, restoration. I am ready for it. Are you?

"It's a new season, it's a new day..... Fresh anointing, flowing my way. It's a season of power and prosperity. It's a NEW SEASON coming to me...." - New Season Israel Houghton

Lord, You make all things new!

Before we moved to Arizona, God reminded me that He was going to restore things in my life. I grabbed on to this and took God at His word. Lately I have been mulling this over and what God really meant when He spoke that to me. One thing I have realized is restoration is a process. It doesn't happen quickly. Oh it could, especially with God. But would we get the full benefits of what He wants to teach us through the process? No, not if he made it a quick thing. I wasn't overly excited about this realization, because I want it to be quick.

When I was a teenager, I took on the project one summer of refinishing a bedroom set my sister had used when she was home. It had this ugly 70's paint on it and I wanted to bring it back to its original state. (restoration) So, my dad helped me move it out to the garage and he got me the tools I needed. I remember stripping it down, taking the paint off and seeing this beautiful wood underneath. I got so excited! Then I had to sand it. I remember doing this by hand as well, no electric sander for me! It was really hard work. I wore gloves, but it was hard to work in them so I took them off. My hands got scratched, bled and were rough for weeks. My arms ached from all the sanding. Keep in mind I am doing this in the middle of summer in Virginia and it is hot, humid and miserable! We also do not have air condition in any area of our home. So to cool off, I would stand in front of the fan and drink sweet iced tea. Ahh.... summer!

The bedroom set consisted of a head and foot board for the bed, a dresser and another piece that had a mirror and drawers (can't remember what to call it). So I repeated this process on each piece of furniture. After bringing the furniture to it's original wood, I was able to decide upon a stain to use on it. My mom and I went to the local hardware store (this was before Lowes and Home Depot, if you can believe that!) and looked at all the stain available. I finally decided upon one that I liked, which was a little darker than the original color of the wood. Armed with a stain brush, the stain and a cloth, I went to work. I was so amazed at the beauty of the grain in the wood that showed through as I put the stain on. It turned out beautiful and I enjoyed that bedroom set all during high school and some of college. My parents still have it in my old room upstairs in their house. When I go back to visit, I stay in that room and I remember the time, effort and sweat it took to restore that furniture.

Restoration in my life is going to take time, effort, sweat and even tears. I know God is doing a new thing in my life. I know that He is restoring my faith in Him. I know He is restoring my belief in His love, goodness, faithfulness. I know He will have to strip me of the conclusions I have drawn over the past few years. He will need to strip me of my pride, my doubt, unbelief, my fear. He will need to sand down some things that I have let get too "thick" on my heart. He than will "stain" my life with His truth, the reminder of the promises in His word and the blood His son shed for me.

I know my God is able. Sometimes it is just hard for me to believe. I know I need to. I know His promises are yes and amen. He has proven Himself to me in the past and I know He will do it again and again. Not because He has to, but because He loves me and I need Him too. I guess that is just where I am right now.

I know God has begun the restoration process in my life. Part of that began in our move to Arizona. So, I will continue to move forward and trust (at times hesitantly) that he will continue the process. He does tell me that He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in my life. So, for today I will stand upon that promise and walk, knowing that my steps are ordered by Him. I will not worry about tomorrow but focus on what God has for me today.

I can't wait to "see" the finished product of His restoration process in my life.

A realistic view of Psalm 139

I have been struggling with my self image a lot lately. I realize that I am a child of the King and He created me, etc. But lately it has been a hard thing for me to really appreciate those things God has gifted me with and the way He has made me. I have actually struggled with this my whole life and am finally coming to terms with it. It isn't easy.... at all. I have a beautiful daughter that is entering that age of self discovery and where image is everything. I realize I am an example to her in this area. I want to be a healthy example and be her biggest advocate in who God created her to be.

This morning a young man read Psalm 139 at church. I was encouraged by God's truth and convicted by His love. I wanted to share with you what God says in His word. I pray it will encourage you in who God has created you to be.

"God, investigate my life, get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you, even from a distance, you know what I am thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight."

God knows me better than I know myself. I can't hide anything from Him. Even if I tried, it doesn't work, because He knows it ALL. Kind of scary, yet when I realize that He loves me in spite of my flaws, my mistakes, my sin, it is liberating.

"You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then I look up ahead and you're there, too- your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful - I can't take it all in!"

God knows what I am thinking good or bad. He knows what I am going to say even before it comes from my lips. Whether it is life or death in my tongue, He knows..... He is all around me. I can't get away from His presence. I am so thankful for this reassurance and promise I have from Him!

"Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute- you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, 'oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!' it's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you. "

There isn't any place I can go to avoid His spirit calling me. I have had times of dryness or loneliness, wondering where God was in my time of pain. Yet He was with me even than. He is with me in the "mountain top" experiences as well as the "valleys". Oh to trust Him more. I am immersed in His light even when things around me are dark, unclear and unsure.

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb."

God knew me from the very beginning. He knew me from conception. While I grew in my mother's womb, He shaped me; my personality, my quirks, my hopes, dreams, desires and than he shaped my body. He destined for me to have light brown hair, blue eyes, be 5'4 and wear a size 8 shoe. He created me to have curly hair and freckles.

"I thank you, High God- you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration- what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body, You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life prepared before even I'd lived one day."

I am so thankful for God and His breathtaking abilities in my life. He created me to worship Him body and soul. To lift my hands. dance, sing, shout, jump. He knows my inner most parts and yet He loves me. He sculpted me with His very own hands to bring glory to His name. He knew who my parents would be and that I would grow up in a small town in Va. He created me to ride my bike, pull weeds in the garden, play with my Barbies & baby dolls, sing to Olivia Newton John and the Bee Gees with a round hair brush. He knew I would love the color yellow and paint my room that color only to grow bored with it a year later. He knew I would have a sister 6 years older than me and that we wouldn't really be close until later in life. He knew that I would be a daddy's girl and later struggle in my relationship with him in my teen years. He knew what friends I would have and who would influence me. He knew the pains and joys I would experience throughout my school years. He knew I would struggle with weight issues my whole life. He knew I would compare myself to others and make poor choices at times. He knew I where I would attend college and who I would marry. He knew I would have 4 kids and move way too many times in my adult life. And yet through it all, God kept me in the palm of His hand and guided me each step of the way.

"Your thoughts- how rare, how beautiful; God, I'll never comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them- any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh. let me rise in the morning and live always with you! And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! And you murderers-out of here!- all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations. See how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. Your enemies are my enemies!"

Lord how can I live in this world and not be affected by those who hate you and turn their backs on you? It hurts me to see others chose a life of full blown out sin. I pray I can be a light in this darkness and celebrate who You are in my life as a testimony to others.

"Investigate my life, O God, find everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong- then guide me on the road to eternal life."

I love it God, that You will search me, investigate me, know all there is to know about me and you will guide me down the road of eternal life. I have nothing to fear. You know my heart and all that is in it and are willing to guide me down the right path as long as I am ready and willing. What an incredible God we have an opportunity to serve. It is a choice we each have to make for ourselves. I know my life has been so much better walking in His grace and love. I could have a life full of darkness, sin, anger, hatred. But I choose long ago that I needed a Savior. I am not perfect by any means. Daily I call upon Him to give me wisdom, to order my steps, to guide me. I want to know in my heart of hearts and walk in the confidence of God daily. I want others to know what I have walked through and know that God has been with me each step of the way;the good, the bad, the ugly. I realize I have a lot more growing to do in my relationship with Him. In that, I want to know and believe what His word says about me, His daughter. God isn't obsessed about my dress size, my current hairstyle or wardrobe. He isn't put off by the kind of car I drive, what part of town I live in or if I have a job at a particular place. No, all that matters to God is my relationship with Him and His relationship with me. Everything else will fade away, including my dress size. ;)

Our pool experience.

About a week ago my husband and I splurged and bought a pool for our family. My husband found a great deal, we had been looking for one and we snatched it up. We ordered it online and kept it a secret from our kids. We were so excited! Daily we were checking our email to see if it had shipped yet, when it had shipped, estimated time it would be here, where it was, etc. We would talk in veiled terms if the kids were in the room and give each other knowing grins. All we told the kids was that we had a surprise for them and would receive it soon.

Yesterday our "package" arrived. I hid it in the garage and told the kids when they got home they couldn't go out there. I gave some lame excuse and thankfully they were okay with it. My husband came home early from work and worked a little on our yard out back, leveling off the area the pool would go. It was hot and we were sweating, but we didn't care. This was for our kids and we were excited to get started!

Since we had worship rehearsal last night we weren't able to set the pool up until after we got home, which was around 10pm. My husband and I are both night owls by nature so we were okay with this for the first hour or so. But getting up at 6am catches up with you pretty quick. Still we forged ahead and were determined to see the project complete.

We got the tarp laid out and set the pool on top. We than had to inflate the ring around the top. So my husband got his air compressor only to find that it wouldn't work. I dug around in the garage for our air mattress pump, found it, but couldn't use that because the batteries were dead. Unfortunately we didn't have any extra D batteries lying around. (Who does?, No, really) Still, we were not to be deterred. We both took turns blowing up the ring ourselves. Yes, we used the breath God gave us to blow up a very BIG ring at the top of the pool. I guess it's a good thing we sing because I was able to take some REALLY deep breaths. I kind of wish we would have recorded us setting this up, I know it was hilarious.

During all of this my kids are sound asleep, we are trying to be as quiet as we can outside so we don't disturb our neighbors and we are trying not to pass out. We were finally able to fill the pool with water, which was going to take about 4 hours. This would put us to bed at 2:30 am with both of us getting up just 4 hours later. Still, we pushed through the tiredness and frustration to have it ready in the morning so the kids could see it before school.

As we were going through this whole process I had a "revelation." My husband and I wanted to bless our kids and surprise them with something we knew they would enjoy so much. We couldn't wait to see their faces and looks of surprise at what we had done for them. My kids would not know what we had gone through to set it up. They wouldn't know about the late night, loss of sleep, blowing the ring up by hand, no batteries, etc. All they would know was that mom and dad surprised us and "I can't wait to get home from school so I can swim."

God does stuff for us that is such a blessing and so incredible and yet we have no idea what He had to do to bless us. We have no clue the things He had to rearrange, move out of the way, reroute to get us to a place of blessing. He is always working on our behalf, even when we are sleeping and yet we have no clue. We have no idea what He gave up to give us the best and greatest blessing of all.... eternal life. We may have a glimpse of the pain and agony He experienced, but to fully know? I don't think so.

God's love for us far surpasses any love we have ever felt. His love brings us back again and again. His love leads us, surrounds us, encompasses our very being. I love my kids so much and yet to realize God loves me, them, us so much more is mind blowing. And just like we want to bless our kids; will sometimes make great sacrifices for them, will stay up late for them, will protect and provide for them, will accept them for who they are..... God does it for us even more. Oh, how He truly... deeply.... madly.... incredibly.... loves us.