Great Expectations!

Today I sit here with great expectations. These expectations are ones that no man can fill. They must be laid at the feet of my Master and than I must wait. I feel God is doing some shifting and changing in my view and perception of life. He is a different God in my eyes than the one I accepted into my heart 30 years ago. Back than He was the Savior of a child. One who had yet some life to live, people to meet and things to experience. I realize, He will be different to me in another 30 years. It's not that He is the one who has changed for He never changes but stays the same, yesterday, today and forever. It is me who has changed. God and I have had our ups and downs. We have had our all out, drag out fights (like Jacob), we have had our moments of surrender (like Mary), we have had our moments of strength building & encouragement(like Gideon). I have turned my back on God, only realizing that I can't because He is all around me. I have refused to acknowledge Him in certain situations, once again realizing that it is He who has given me ALL things.

I know the God I serve is merciful. His mercies are new every morning. He gives me strength to walk through each day. He gives me wisdom when faced with challenges that I don't know what to do. He gives me peace in the midst of the storm. He gives me faith and grows that faith daily. I must trust Him, for He is all I have, all I am and all I can give to others needing hope.

My expectation for him is simply, more of Him. I think of the old worship chorus that goes, "I need you more, more than yesterday. I need you more, more than words can say. I need you more than ever before. I need you more, I need you Lord. More than air I breathe, more than song I sing. More than the next heartbeat, more than anything. And Lord as time goes by, I will be by your side. 'Cause I never want to go back, to my old life." That song could be my anthem. I never want to go back to where I was before He was in my life. I never want to go back to where I was with Him in my life even 6 months ago. I want to grow, to move forward and to believe all the things He has promised for my life.

I realize I may need to rethink some dreams. I may need to plan more for the times of hardship. I may need to just let it all go and know that He Is Faithful! God has shown Himself to me time and time again. It is my choice to actually see and follow His guidance. I think of the story in 1 Kings 18:41-46. There has been no rain in the land and Elijah goes up to pray on Mt. Carmel. He tells his servant to go look for a cloud. The servant comes back time 7 times and tells Elijah each time, "There is nothing." Each time Elijah says, "Go again." Then on the 7th time there is a cloud as small as a man's hand, rising out of the sea. And God brings rain to the land.

I need to see the cloud of rain. I may need to go and look again and again. But God keeps reminding me, IT IS THERE! He WILL rain down His showers of blessing in my life to where I am overflowing and can't contain them. He WILL open His floodgates of heaven. He WILL give my husband and I the desires of our hearts and we WILL accomplish much for His kingdom.

I am choosing to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am choosing to see the greatness of God. I am choosing to see the cloud of abundant blessing. I am choosing to see God's faithfulness, His glory and His promises in light of my earthly trials. I am choosing to see and to expect great things from my Lord!

Our foolishness= God's wisdom

"God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and he chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."1 Corinthians 1:27. NCV

Today as I was starting my day, God brought this verse to my mind. I thought about it for awhile and realized that God uses me in spite of me. Lately my life has been interesting, to say the least. It has been one thing after another and I feel as if I am doing good to hang on. I am just so thankful for God's mercy and His grace. Daily I am trying to keep my head above water and trust God at His word. He has been incredibly faithful to me and my family time and time again. He has blessed us with good health, a lovely home, good friends. He has watched over us and protected us, provided for us and met our needs in unique ways.

I don't want to take Him or anything He has done for granted. And yet, I do. I grumble and complain and cry. I yell at God and question Him often. I get mad at Him and wonder if His word is true. Ugh!

My husband reminded me today that God is not an instant, microwave God. He does things in His time and His way. God loves me I know, but I forget that He loves me enough to put me in circumstances to change me and allow me opportunities to be more like Him. Yes, He wants me to be blessed and to live a joyful, victorious life. But more than anything He wants me to reflect Him. I so desire to move forward, to trust and to have a peace regardless of what my circumstances are.

I don't have things all together and I certainly haven't arrived. But my heart is to be more like Him. 1 Corinthians 1:27 is a reminder to all of us that God can use us if we are willing to be used. He uses us in our brokenness, our weaknesses, our failures. He uses us at times when we are at our lowest.

I'm so glad He does! I may not feel all together spiritually but it's okay. I'm working, growing, changing and getting there. I'm glad God will use me in my foolishness, weakness and at times shame. He is such an amazing God!