Learning to lean....

The other morning I woke up to the chorus of an old church song running through my head. Some of you may know it; "Learning to lean, learning to lean. I'm learning to lean on Jesus. Finding more power than I'd ever dreamed. I'm learning to lean, on Jesus." It has been running through my head over and over, reminding me of the importance of leaning on Him. It is something I struggle with. I feel I can do such a better job with working things out in my life. Even though I know deep down that is far from the truth. Daily I must lay down my dreams and ambitions and trust that God knows what He is doing. I must let go of those things I continue to hold on to, allowing God to do His "thing." He has shown me time and time again that He IS faithful, that He works all things out for my good, that He knows me better than I know myself.

Before we left Washington state, we attended church with my husbands aunt and uncle. The pastor there prayed for our family and encouraged me to continue in my journey with God, and to just relax. God has it all under control. I have held onto that. When I get anxious, upset, frustrated, I try to take a step back and relax. Granted, it hasn't come easily. But I want it to become an instant reaction instead of me freaking out about things. I have a long way to go people.

Jillian Michaels says that "trying is setting yourself up for failure". So I will not "try" to remind myself of God's promises, I will do. I will turn to His word. I will remember those scriptures I have memorized through the years, the ones that were embedded in my heart when I was a child. I will stop trying to trust and just do it. Even though it really scares me. Sounds funny huh? To be afraid to trust in the One who created us. But I will do it. I will stop making excuses for myself and move forward in what God has for my life.

I believe we are on a new adventure, as I have shared in the past. I believe God has us in this region for a reason. I believe God has directed and ordered our steps this far and He will continue. I believe He has some amazing ministry opportunities for us. I believe they involve daily relationships with people and being a light in this city. He has already blessed us with a strong support group here and the opportunity to work with some amazing people. He has also given us opportunities to meet some great people.

He is setting us up. That's what He does... He sets us up, not for failure but for success. So, with this in mind, I will continue in learning to lean on my Savior.

"I've thrown myself headlong into Your arms - I'm celebrating Your rescue. I'm singing at the top of my lungs, I'm so full of answered prayers. " Psalm 13:5,6 MSG

Enjoying the journey

A week ago today my family and I left Washington state and began our journey to Arizona. Before we left a friend told me to enjoy this journey we were embarking on. He reminded me of this along the way. It was a good trip in spite of little situations that tried to throw us off course. But God is so good and He got us here safely. We stayed with some friends along the way and reconnected, we saw some amazing farmland and grew a deep appreciation for all the farmers who grow our produce. We experienced being in LA traffic at rush hour. "Whew!" What an adventure! I had some amazing conversations with my kids and we made memories along the way. We reached our destination early Friday morning and crashed for a few hours.

Our time since has been full of making new friendships, meeting new people and building upon friendships we started on our visit in May. I have enjoyed the time of fellowship and relaxation before our lives get busy once again. We have experienced some pretty intense weather and yet I am told it will only get hotter! Help me Jesus!! We have enjoyed some good family time at the pool and taking walks or just hanging out in the evenings.

I am looking forward to this new and different season in our lives. We have a lot to learn about desert living. But are looking forward to enjoying the new experiences. I realize our "journey" didn't stop once we got here, it has continued.

A few years ago, God gave me a scripture that I really clung to. He reminded me of it last night. Isaiah 51:3 says, "For the Lord will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places; He will make her wilderness like Eden, And her desert like the garden of the Lord: Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody." I am looking forward to the Lord making my wilderness like Eden, my desert like His garden. He said that joy and gladness would be found in my garden, along with thanksgiving and new songs. I say, "Do it Lord!" I am ready for the change and the growth. I am ready for a new season and whatever it holds. (You may need to remind of this later ;) I realize it won't always be easy, fun, "sunny". But God has promised me a peace and joy, He has promised me a beautiful garden. He has promised me a new song to sing. So I lift my hands high, I raise my voice and I proclaim His goodness and love to all the earth.

Let me leave you with Isaiah 51:3 in the Message, "Likewise, I, God, will comfort Zion, comfort all her mounds of ruins. I'll transform her dead ground into Eden, her moonscape into the garden of God. A place filled with exuberance and laughter, thankful voices and melodic songs."

Be blessed and enjoy the journey, whatever it is, that God has you on!

It all matters

Last weekend my husband and I took a trip to the Phoenix, AZ area. We led worship at a great church, met some amazing people and had some wonderful time to ourselves. We enjoyed the sun and even the heat. Sounds crazy, but living in Alaska for 10 years makes you appreciate warmth from the big yellow thing in the sky. (My AK friends know what I'm talking about). After being there and connecting with the church that we were ministering in, we made a big decision to move our whole family. We will be helping a growing church in the Phoenix area leading worship and connecting with the community. I am excited, overwhelmed, ecstatic, blessed, in awe and sad to leave the friends I have made here. So many emotions and feelings.

I recognize that our lives will be changing in so many ways. Yet, some things will stay the same. I will miss the green and lush vegetation of the northwest. I will miss the coolness, the marked seasons, the rain. But I look forward to the beauty I will find in the terrain of the desert. I look forward to the new friendships that will be formed, the ministry that will take place and the sweet memories that will be made. I look forward to my kids discovery of something new, the friends they will meet and the growth that will take place in their lives.

As a family we have weathered some storms. I realize those storms are all a part of God building us and shaping us into more of Him. I am excited to see how God will use those situations so we can minister to others and encourage them.

This morning as I was getting ready for the day I put on a song from Deluge. It is called "Worshiping You". As I listened to the words and took some time to really meditate on them, I was struck by the simplicity of my relationship with God. He desires me to give it all to Him, to trust Him and to allow Him to love me as I fall more and more in love with Him. The chorus says, "Here I am, worshiping You. With all I am, worshiping You. Bowing down, in Spirit and truth. With lifted hands, worshiping You." I thought, yeah Lord, here I am. Here I am with all my fears, my dreams, my hopes. Here I am with all my insecurities, doubts, unbelief. Here I am with all that is in me. Everything.... holding nothing back, because You know Lord. You know it all. I bow down to You in surrender, not just physically but spiritually too. Lifting my hands, giving it all to You.

So tonight as I was in the car with my husband, complaining about a situation, God spoke to my heart and said, "Is this worship to me?" Ouch..... My worship to Him is more than lifted hands and singing from my lips. It is interaction with my family, helping my children, listening to my husband. It is washing dishes and folding laundry. Worship is respecting my husband, loving my children and being a good friend. It is honoring my parents and in-laws. Worship is living this life God has given me and pointing others to Him through my actions.

Another part of the song says, "I'm gonna worship You forever, I;m gonna worship You." If we really think about that, it is so mind blowing. We get to worship the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, FOREVER. Wow! What an honor.

As you go about your day, remember that it all matters to God.